What are some funny and smart quotes?

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

My waist finally looks like how it did before I had kids but I didn’t lose weight. Why am I still 15 lbs from my starting weight?

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

Why do Trumpers and MAGA Republicans care who is trans and who is gay ECT? If they didn't have a personal interest in transgenderism it shouldn't matter so much then, right?

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

Why are so many people anti-Trump? People didn't like Obama either, but he was the president, so people didn't do this. What makes Trump different?

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”